<![CDATA[Heartside Magazine: Research... Explored]]>https://porch.theheartsideproject.com/s/the-deeper-divehttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!whJ6!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3eee8e59-aae1-421c-b80e-839c063fc3ab_1280x1280.pngHeartside Magazine: Research... Exploredhttps://porch.theheartsideproject.com/s/the-deeper-diveSubstackSat, 03 Oct 2026 00:00:59 GMT<![CDATA[The Trouble with Stages]]>https://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-trouble-with-stages-explorationhttps://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-trouble-with-stages-explorationWed, 16 Sep 2026 21:08:21 GMTDenial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. You can probably recite them... nearly everyone can. For more than fifty years, classrooms have taught the five stages of grief, hospitals and counseling offices have discussed them, and the internet has shared them. They have become one of the best-known ideas about grief… resting quietly in the back of nearly every helper’s mind.

In 2017, three established bereavement researchers gathered fifty years of evidence and asked the hard question: Do bereaved people really go through these stages? Their answer matters for anyone who teaches, coaches, or stands beside a hurting person… because what we expect grief to look like shapes how we treat the people going through it.

This exploration walks through the whole review in plain language:

  • Where the five stages came from… and who they were first written about.

  • The objections that began almost as soon as the model did… and how Kübler-Ross herself responded to them.

  • Five problems, sorted and explained: what the stages leave unexplained, what they muddle together, and what the evidence never showed.

  • What long-term studies found instead… including the surprising share of bereaved people who remain steady from the start.

  • The famous 2007 study that claimed to confirm the stages… and the challenge that followed.

  • Why an unsupported model refuses to die: the deeply human appeal of a map.

  • The researchers’ practical guidance and advice… what helpers and professionals should do instead of watching for stages.

We show how well The Heartside Project aligns with the researchers’ conclusions and advice… and where we extrapolate beyond them. By the end, you’ll know the whole story of the five stages of grief… where they came from, why they stuck, and why we teach actions instead.

The full exploration is below, print-safe and ready for your reading chair.

Heartside Magazine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

After our launch period, the Research… Explored section will move to the paid tier. But for now, it’s open to all subscribers. (Feel free to refer others to this page as a resource… but please do not share the PDFs themselves.)

→ The Research: Cautioning Health-Care Professionals: Bereaved Persons Are Misguided Through the Stages of Grief (PDF)

Cautioning Health Care Professionals Bereaved Persons Are Misguided Through The Stages Of Grief
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→ The Research Explored: The Trouble With Stages (PDF) :

The Trouble With Stages Research Explored Heartside Magazine
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Have you been taught the five stages of grief? Do they fit with what you’ve seen in the lives of you and your friends? Do you think our understanding of the stages changes how we should show up for grieving friends?

Please leave a comment or shoot me a message... I read them all!

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Let’s raise a generation that knows how to show up for hurting friends...

Jepper

]]><![CDATA[Being and Staying]]>https://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/being-and-staying-explorationhttps://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/being-and-staying-explorationMon, 07 Sep 2026 20:58:48 GMTResearch on youth grief typically focuses on the grieving child. However, in 2019, two Danish researchers took a different approach. They interviewed ten young women who supported their teenage best friends through grief after a parent’s death. The aim was to understand the experience from the friends’ perspective. Their responses were tender, honest, and exhausting… and they contained important lessons for anyone involved in raising or teaching young people who may someday be in a position to support a grieving friend.

This exploration walks through the whole study in plain language:

· The four things that keep friendships alive… and how grief disrupts every one of them.

  • Twelve themes from the interviews, pulled from the young women’s own words.

  • Why the researchers suspect grief is contagious between best friends.

  • The fear that kept caring friends silent… and the misunderstanding underneath it.

  • Who the helpers leaned on when the helping got heavy.

  • The maze, the twists, dead ends, and the five words that made it all worth it.

We show how well The Heartside Project aligns with the researchers’ own conclusions and advice… including where our mission does and doesn’t fit the study. By the end, you’ll learn enough from these ten friendships to recognize the eleventh when it shows up at your own kitchen table.

The full exploration is below, print-safe and ready for your reading chair.

After our launch period, the Research… Explored section will move to the paid tier. But for now, it’s open to all subscribers. (Feel free to refer others to this page as a resource… but please do not share the PDFs themselves.)

→ The Research: Grief and Best Friendship Among Adolescent Girls (link to publisher’s page)

→ The Research Explored: Being and Staying (PDF) :

Being And Staying Research Explored Heartside Magazine
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What do you think is the hardest part of supporting a grieving friend? What helped most when you were the one grieving? How would you counsel a child/teen in your life who wanted to support a hurting friend?

Please leave a comment or shoot me a message... I read them all!

Leave a comment

Let’s raise a generation that knows how to show up for hurting friends...

Jepper

]]><![CDATA[The Case for Grief Class]]>https://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-case-for-grief-class-explorationhttps://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-case-for-grief-class-explorationMon, 31 Aug 2026 15:27:04 GMTIn 2023, five UK researchers made the case for teaching children about grief in school… before a death rather than waiting until after one. They ran no experiments of their own. Instead, they built a closing argument that calls every witness: the children who asked to learn this (it was their most-requested topic), the teachers who want to be better prepared, the majority of secondary students who said “no thank you” to the whole idea… and what thoughtful grief education does with an objection like that.

This exploration walks through the entire case in plain language:

  • Why put grief education in the curriculum?

  • How would it help?

  • What are schools teaching now?

  • Is the topic too sensitive for schools?

  • How would it be taught?

  • What might change if grief education was required?

We reveal where The Heartside Project aligns with the researchers and where we go further on our own. By the end, you’ll know the case well enough to argue for it… or argue with it.

The full exploration is below, print-safe and ready for your reading chair.

After our launch period, the Research… Explored section will move to the paid tier. But for now, it’s open to all subscribers. (Feel free to refer others to this page as a resource… but please do not share the PDFs themselves.)

→ The Research: The Case for Mandatory Grief Education (PDF)

The Case For Mandatory Grief Education Dawson
399KB ∙ PDF file
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→ The Research Explored: The Case For Grief Class - Research Explored (PDF)

The Case For Grief Class Research Explored Heartside Magazine
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Does required grief education sound like a good idea to you? Should it be voluntary for each school system? Something else?

Please leave a comment or shoot me a message... I read them all!

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Let’s raise a generation that knows how to show up for hurting friends...

Jepper

]]><![CDATA[The Reach-Out Gap]]>https://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-reach-out-gap-explorationhttps://porch.theheartsideproject.com/p/the-reach-out-gap-explorationSat, 22 Aug 2026 21:56:25 GMTIn one experiment, college students wrote a short note to a classmate they had drifted away from. Then, the students guessed how much the gesture would mean to the recipient. The researchers delivered the notes, then asked the recipients how much receiving the note meant to them.

The guesses came in low.

  • Four researchers, thirteen studies, one stubborn result…

  • What’s waiting inside is the machinery.

  • How each experiment was built.

  • What the numbers actually said.

  • The study where the researchers set out to break their own theory.

  • The thing they tried that flat-out failed.

All this, plus an honest accounting of what this research can and can’t tell us about showing up for someone who is hurting.

Fifteen minutes, and you’ll know the research well enough to argue with it… agree with it… or study more about it.

After our launch period, the Research… Explored section will move to the paid tier. But for now, it’s open to all subscribers. (Feel free to refer others to this page as a resource… but please do not share the PDFs themselves.)

→ The Research: The Surprise of Reaching Out (PDF)

→ The Research Explored: The Reach-Out Gap (PDF)

The Reach Out Gap Research Explored Heartside Magazine
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Let me know what you think of this study. Were you surprised by the results? Might it change your behavior?

We are on this mission together, and I value your opinion.

Please leave a comment or shoot me a message... I read them all!

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Let’s raise a generation that knows how to show up for hurting friends...

Jepper

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